January 2012
23 posts
my eyes burn.
“All the doubts that linger, just set them free. Let good things happen, Let the...”
“There will come a time where everything that was beautiful will be beautiful...”
on being a religion major
other student: What major are you?
me: Religion. You?
other student: Education. What denomination are you?
me: I'm not exactly sure.
other student: How are you a religion major and you don't know what denomination you are?
me: How are you an education major and do not know what denomination you are?
other student: That argument doesn't make sense.
me: Being a Religion major is about answering a question with a question.
take courage.
I fear the time has come where I back down for a bit. I need to really consider my life, the people in it, and that paths I want to take. I graduate in less than 4 months and I have a tremendously large amount of growing up to do. This sounds negative, but I really need to take some time to myself and just be in thought. I need to gain perspective, understanding, patience, and trust. This time has...
Always a jam.
1 tag
waiting is the hardest part
God, it’s so painful; something that’s so close, and still so far out of reach.
i just want to cuddle and play with a pupdog.
115 days till I can move away.
this is my jam today.
You can tell me something over and over again, but I will only fully understand it when you take time to write it out.
Handwritten letters, though not a love language, may be my love language.
What about how scary it is to get close to people?
Letting people in is terrifying. Is it rewarding?
Sometimes when I’m between the sheets of a bed, I reflect on the day I had; the things I said, the things I did. Sometimes I’m incredibly blessed and generally pleased with the day and my actions. But other times I’m completely discouraged and frazzled.
Then I remember that few things matter and get over it.
In other news, when I lay on my stomach one of the things I laugh...
1 tag
first panic attack of the year: Check.
Note to self:
Don’t give up yet, Clark.
Hang in there. Seriously.
my brother is a genius.
Me: Should I pack my stuff today?
Ben: When do you leave? Thursday?
Me: Yeah, Thursday.
Ben: Right.
Me: So.... Should I pack my stuff today or tomorrow?
Ben: Right. Well, think about how great tomorrow will be if you wait and pack it all tomorrow? We could have book and movie day together today.
Me: Right.
Ben: OR You could pack the things you don't want to take with you today and then spend tomorrow unpacking those things and then packing the things you do want to take.
Me: Why would I do that?
Ben: Or this, you could do this. You could pack half of your stuff that you want to take today, later, and then the other half tomorrow.
Me: I guess you really laid out all the options, then.
Ben: Right. I am getting really good at being unemployed.
December 2011
10 posts
definition.
A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.
let me know when you find that.
love love love love love love love this song
3 tags
sometimes when I feel most stressed that’s when I realize I’m wonderfully blessed.
November 2011
8 posts
2 tags
me: i need to get beer.
mom: you cannot store beer in your dorm room.
me: yeah..... okay.
current thought.
It is interesting to me that I have surrounded myself with people who have strong faith and/or people who work in churches and I’ve never felt so uncomfortable or had such a difficult time asking for some spiritual advice.
911 call
Me: I cut my finger.
Mom: how bad?
Me: like three inches. I've lost a lot of blood.
Mom: oh god. Which finger?!
Me: the important one!
Mom: (not amused) I'll be home soon to look at it.
4 tags
Talking is hard for me. I cannot always think of what I need to say or how I want to express myself. The anxiety of over speaking or under speaking, the anxiety of intention, delivery, receptiveness, listening, or’s, what if’s, what next’s, my teeth, my mouth, the words I pick, my hands, eye contact, judgment, biting my tongue, wishing I had, not knowing enough, knowing too...
Three weekdays till the weekend!
this weekend
I am excited to go home tomorrow. I am excited to see my boyfriend and our friends tomorrow. I am excited to get my haircut on saturday. I am excited to drink Starbucks with my mother all weekend. I am excited to skip my Friday classes for no real reason other than a ride home on Thursday. I am excited to see my brother Ben when I get home. I am excited. I am excited.
October 2011
17 posts
5 tags
a Hannah post
Tonight, Derick came over to enjoy Fraiser Fridays. We were hungry, and decided it was a perfect day to make my mom’s famous bacon and potato soup. This tasty soup is very rich and wonderful, especially on a cold fall day like today.
While the bacon began to sizzle, Derick started chopping some green onions.
Even though no video was recorded, he turned around and said to me “When...
time moves so slow
05 days until I go home. 20 days until I get a hair cut. 25 days until YouthMin conference in Hotlanta. 30 days until Thanksgiving Break. 50 days until Finals Week 55 days until Winter Break. 195 days until I graduate.
In other words, I need a fast forward button now more than ever.
“Well I looked my demons in the eyes,
laid bare my chest, said “Do your...”